one purpose, one life, one God

unimaginable possibilities

barnabas — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 12:23:29 +0000

really amazed by how God does this over and over again. so many times my heart is so afraid of committing things into God’s hand, because i’m scared that i won’t be able to make it. to cross that really tall obstacle.. many times i just say to myself, it can never happen. but by God’s amazing grace, knowing how much i can take. He leads to through the longer route, one that i can stick close to Him and understanding Him more. am just so grateful of how good God is to me i joked with one of my lg members saying, how? as much as i want to give up in times of trouble, i dont think i can ever do that with how much God has done in my life. true story

once again, take the wheel Jesus.

whack!

barnabas — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 10:58:35 +0000

this might not be exactly be the best way to do things all the time, but certainly there are just certain things or moments when u need to just. WHACK!

am now in scs infantry, believe me when i say i think im gonna die of the training LOL. but! honestly its through all these tough training and many things that i go thru in between that make me rethink things many times.

i was thinking of how do we feel alive? there’s just so many routine things to do in life, far too many of them! well its different for many ppl, but i feel most alive when i dream and i make it come true! while i believe that we still have to allow God to have the highest authority over our lives, we still have to take control and discipline ourselves. know where we are heading next and what to do next!

in the past i was far too scared to dream, never had enough of a confidence to believe i could do anything big hahaha! but honestly my life in God has really taught me so much more otherwise! now i know im not the best at everything i do, but i do know if i reach for the sky with all my might. i might just end up dropping on the stars? LOL. its just gibberish. but im most satisfied when i know i throw in everything i have and look at what i have done.. thinking.. well done with my life for that past few moments! at least i’ve been faithful with what i have.

its not easy to juggle btwn army and ministry esp since thr isnt much time, and of course draining cos of the physical trainings. im not perfect but Lord help me to master my self and make it my slave so i can push onward forcefully as previous great men have done. lets goooo!

when you meet an overwhelming wall.

barnabas — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 00:51:29 +0000

I’m about to go through what I deem as one of my toughest moments in my life, having only 4-5hours of sleep on most days in the past 2 weeks. Which on most of them having a whole day training. I’m already about to die from fatigue, can literally fall aslp anywhere. Now I’m gonna go through 6d5n field camp which I’m holding 3 different appointments in 3 different missions, which is a lot because most have either just 1 or none.

Everyone in my company is just tired out from all the rushing and lack of sleep, the 6d5n field camp has always been known to be very tough and sleep depriving. God how?!

was reading james 1:2-18, can’t help but think.. This really is a good opportunity to grow. Tho I would prefer not to go through tough times haha. God please sustain me through the field camp!

obstacle course.

barnabas — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 14:59:57 +0000

The obstacle I’m talking about? Heart obstacle. Booked out just this morning ard 8am, and here I am back in camp. One of the few moments that the heart is heavy and full of sighs, shouting “I want to be free!”.. Because it feels weighed down by everything else suddenly.

However really wanna thank God for my mum! She remembered me craving for crabs last week and asked me if I want to have them for dinner today! Can’t express how much I appreciated that effort of remembering, really thankful for it So to all those in the future and future me who might be facing a similar heart situation and reading this. Take heart! Be grateful! For tho the world might be hard to live in sometimes, there are always moments that God has placed in our lives that will place a smile on our hearts:)

Thank You God!:)

i admit.

barnabas — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 13:18:23 +0000

The first step to many more, admitting.

I’m really quite easily distracted by things and one thing that came as a realization of what God has been teaching me throughout the whole of the wk and esp today. Discipline of the mind.

We had an 8km run in the morning and had a timing of 48mins to meet. I’m not very good with runs honestly, but I do know there are techniques to help. One of the more impt things for me? Focus.

Focusing on the wrong thing will definitely lead to us lagging behind, and well.. Focus on what will motivate you! Or focus on another distraction from your original distraction lol. I definitely can’t focus on how many more laps I have, I’d be demoralized to even run. So I found the thing to focus on for ppl like me who is easily distracted, focus on what’s in front of me. Its more like a reminder to me, to focus on what I have to do first. Sure I have to plan ahead and know roughly what’s coming up, however what’s most impt is what’s right in my face. To focus on pace and breathing. Even tho I had to discipline my mind real hard to do it, cos it wanders off negatively at times.

Ran a good run and am happy with it! 41mins woohoo! not fantastic but satisfied since I improved heh:)

too costly.

barnabas — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 14:26:06 +0000

Was listening to one of my friends talked randomly and I said smth which really spoke to me haha.

Learn a lesson well, its not worth it to pay for the same one twice.

Tho I know this logic, somehow I’m just dumb enough at times to fall for the same mistake twice. Divinely, my qt was about the same thing too. Repented sins are to be like how God struck the firstborns of israel cos of their sins, to be buried. They are there to be remembered so that we acknowledge our mistakes, but not to be seen nor searched for lest we fall into it again.

It is always too costly and not worth it to make the same mistakes over and again. Stay clear of temptations, this is the one time to put your fleeing and dodging skills to good use!

what doesnt last.

barnabas — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 01:00:21 +0000

Tough times don’t last, tough men do! Just got posted into infantry for my professional term in SCS. And honestly, close to more than 90% of normal nsf(s) don’t want to get into infantry because of things like field camps and outfields. I’m one of them too haha, I don’t prefer a tough life over an easy one though I do know that greater rewards do come with a tougher life. Honestly being in the army really pushes me beyond my limit, as much as I hate being forced to go through tough physical activities. I’m more disciplined to put in maximum effort, its always when we keep telling ourselves how we’ll die at certain activities cos we’re too tired, then we realize that we have completed it just by pushing through it and persevering!

It was kinda depressing whn I first got to know it lol, but am convicted to live life with joy despite the circumstances! That’s just gotta be how life has to be like whether it feels good or not, I will go through everything and pass out as a 3rd sgt in 3months’ time! What’s more there’s taiwannnnn, the winter period of it. Woohoo!:D I love taiwan!

HIMYM

barnabas — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 12:14:20 +0000

Nowadays my life in bunk is pretty much about “How I met your mother”, an american series. I find it nice and its pure funny, I can’t help but laugh out loud sometimes. Even when I’m on public transport.. That kinda makes me look like an idiot, but hah who cares! If u hv time to spare, check it out!

now there’s a few things I’ve been thinking about, and God really speaks thru many ways. From some manga I was reading, realized how I could handle certain things more maturely. And most times, its just about handling things objectively with tact.

Its often not whether we can, but whether we want or will do it anot. Just had a 28km route march carrying around 10kg+ on me. Man.. it was easy at first but as time goes by all the break times I have, I used it to sleep. I was literally falling asleep while walking, sooo tired! And not to mention sore muscles, my thigh and calf muscles were so strained that every step I took I could feel the cramp coming. Thank God for isotonic drinks and definitely friends around me that made me decide to walk til the end no matter what! We’re all penguins now, sore shoulders, sore legs, blistered feet but we’re proud to hv finished it!:)

If we set our mind to it, it can be done. Not to mention that we have God with us! What can not be done?

being excellent.

barnabas — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 12:52:23 +0000

the first phase of my training in scs is coming to an end next week, but one thing that im really glad i got out of it was.. cultivating a spirit of excellence. that was the case for most stuffs, except studying=x i’ll admit that i can do a lot better at studying stuffs inside lol, but the moment i look at those slides and videos.. oh man its like im being hypnotized to sleep! bet most would be able to identify with me hahaha! however i learn what i need to learn by asking my friends or through hands on practice.

i might have been the few in being excellent, and by excellent i mean giving my best of course. i kept on giving what i can and learning i can. just am glad that God helped me throughout this whole course, especially through the field camp where im at the weakest but still had enough strength to complete the essentials. It truly is during the tough times that one’s character shows, and i’ve definitely seen more of myself past weeks. The good and the bad.

i believe as long as one perseveres in what they do, it doesn’t matter what the others around are thinking. only matters that it is right in God’s eyes, God will bless and increase our influence. believe that God has used me to impact where He has placed me=) am so glad that i went thru this course with God! heh.

cover my back.

barnabas — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 17:05:15 +0000

i think something’s wrong with me, i think too much of what other people would feel or think. ends up i only do things one sidedly, i mean while i’m certainly not dying for some covering of my back. but i was just thinking, if only things are mutual. at least i’ve got some cover on my back, that i can just drop back on.

and i was also just thinking of how thankful i am for friends who concerns over me, that i know cos they whatsapp me or bbm or whatever out of nowhere. kinda almost died while i was in tekong, cos i had an incident when a series of stuffs happened and i shan’t elaborate cos army is sensitive with stuffs like online blogging and all. but im just glad i had friends who literally covered my back and ran to me to help me out. i’m what you would call an acts of service kind of person, i appreciate things better when i see it or hear it.

now when i think of stuffs like that, i think again of whether i’m doing that to the ppl i care for. im the same, but sometimes i just dont want to always be the one initiating. it kinda sucks when it always has to be you to start. i’ll admit that part. then again in the end, i would still do it. because I care enough, and my belief is that whn u care enough. u don’t just talk enough, the person has to feel enough too. and this is the part where it gets to me. makes me feel like throwing everything away so that i’m “free” from all kinda stuff cos i no longer have to try, to struggle anymore. though i know that the part on being free aint true, cos its just temporary.

i want to fight, to struggle, to win. but there are times i need to run, and i need to learn to run away properly. God has been good in many ways to me, i’m honestly saying that. but the human me still feels that whole lot of stuffs i’m feeling, God help me..