in the season of waiting

was listening to this podcast titled, “God, where are You?” by new hope oahu.

 

in the seasons of waiting, there are simply so much more going on in the background than compared to just waiting. and that so much more, is God moving in our lives.

 

in the process of waiting, there is something that God is trying to kill / get rid of within us. what is it?

 

During the season of waiting, it is the waiting on God part that we need to focus on. It is the time when we’ve gotta pray like never before so that we open up our hearts to hear from Him like never before as well. Pray with passion instead of just safe prayers like thanking God for the food and asking for it to nourish our body for that is what God created food for!

 

I don’t mean being thankful is bad, I just think there can be so much more to how we pray! How bout praying for something that we require God’s help to do so, that only God can do so. like loving those we hate. man, that’s definitely one thing that only by God’s grace we are enabled.

 

Really refreshed and touched when this week’s sermon was talking about waiting on God as well! It’s just so exciting when you know that you don’t live your life alone, that God is involved in every bit of it!

 

Gotta learn to wait, to walk God’s pace, to walk God’s ways.

in the least of them.

God’s heart is for the least of His creation in our world; the low iq / eq, the poor, the arrogant and many more. Some of these people the majority hate and some of them we hate. But the question here is how many of them are we trying to love? Are we constantly praying for God to expand our heart’s capacity to love and embrace ppl of various personalities and character?

Am reminded of this as I’m currently taking charge a group of 7 men under me as I serve my country in the army. One of them has lower iq, constantly asks questions (many of which redundant and repetitive), has poor mental and physical strength. Honestly speaking in practical sense, he’s a liability because he can’t fight a war nor can he help out in any way but still he wants to be here.

Really am burdened when I see ppl like that who are outcasted and disliked. And I remember how God has used His precious resources, leaders and people to invest in me such that I’ve grown in many aspects to what I am currently. However I was also initially irritated and tempted to stay away from him because he really knows how to get my nerves or rather, everyone’s nerve.

If someone’s not my heart then he / she is on my nerves. Something that I’ve heard and found it to be very true. As God place in me more capacity to love, I want to invest my efforts in him to help him improve and understand things. Just so that he will know that he is of value to someone out there, he knows God too! Hoping to speak to him more about God someday.

Ppl always improve when they have someone believing in them and I’m one living example of that. Its thanks to the many ppl who believed in me even when I fail and more importantly God who never ever gives up on me. It is really by how I’ve experienced God’s love that I am able to love him the way I do now. Just so glad that Jesus is my God:) thank You Jesus!

still your heart.

Went for a swim this afternoon, but hadn’t swam in a long awhile so it was quite tough for me on the first 3 laps. Had to catch my breath badly, most likely I had swam too fast when I haven’t gotten used to it yet. Learning point here was I took my first 3 laps to adjust because I had in mind to finish 30 laps.

God reminded of how we have to run our race with Him. Sometimes there are certain things in our life we haven’t exactly done it in God’s ways. And when we understand and want to do it in God’s ways, we have to be careful not to get too excited (I do /: overly excited, too impatient) because we might end up being burnt up in the moment of excitement and enthusiasm.

So what’s crucial here is that we learn to still our hearts, taking several hours out from our daily work at different timings to hear what God has to say. This ought to bring us the peace we need to calm that overwhelming impatience that was of good intention but not beneficial.

We got to keep in mind of our final destination, adjust accordingly and take breaks if we need to. We don’t have to rush into things, though we got to have urgency so we wouldn’t waste time.

Our life with Christ is a marathon, not a 4 x 100 sprinting race. We aim to finish it well and not to drop out halfway 🙂

filling up my life

im on a 1 month fast from fb, twitter, 9gag, dramas etc etc. things that i spend a whole LOT of time on, being the nsf me. we yearn to come out of camp and enjoy, but sad thing is.. well the world moves on with or without us hahahaha. everyone’s working / studying! but i thank God for friends who make the effort to hangout, they really are my awesome-est buddies. and tho i spend much time with dudes, im so thankful that i’ve got brothers like them in my life that have mutual understanding of our situations lol!

but blah.. i just made up a whole lot of excuse for my wasting of time. so since im away from all those, i might as well make full use of it to consolidate my learnings!

have really been thinking alot on how we should relate with others, how to listen attentively and to speak wisely. seen / experienced too much of how speaking too quickly gets us into trouble as quickly as well. got to learn to tame my tongue and thoughts well.

that aside i’m really thankful for my lg! really so glad that though we’ve walked a long road, but our lg really feels like a lg now! its like a family than just a group! so grateful that God has placed them in my life, how each and everyone of them initiates meetup and is supportive of those ideas. looking forward to us growing even stronger in God tgt as a lg! wah God is really one super gracious God, even tho i honestly think i fail at leading them well but im just glad that God was the one who built our lg bit by bit til date.

the step of a thousand miles begin with the first, how true that is..

thr’s a few things i want to grow in during this one month. it really is growing infinitely closer with God, growing in love and growing in joy. sometimes i just look at my life and think, wow.. i cant believe i allowed the devil to steal so much away from me. yet he dared to make it seem like i have many other things. really repent in these on how eternal things are really of much more utmost importance! gonna move with HS in my life!

unimaginable possibilities

really amazed by how God does this over and over again. so many times my heart is so afraid of committing things into God’s hand, because i’m scared that i won’t be able to make it. to cross that really tall obstacle.. many times i just say to myself, it can never happen. but by God’s amazing grace, knowing how much i can take. He leads to through the longer route, one that i can stick close to Him and understanding Him more. am just so grateful of how good God is to me 🙂 i joked with one of my lg members saying, how? as much as i want to give up in times of trouble, i dont think i can ever do that with how much God has done in my life. true story 😉

once again, take the wheel Jesus.

whack!

this might not be exactly be the best way to do things all the time, but certainly there are just certain things or moments when u need to just. WHACK!

am now in scs infantry, believe me when i say i think im gonna die of the training LOL. but! honestly its through all these tough training and many things that i go thru in between that make me rethink things many times.

i was thinking of how do we feel alive? there’s just so many routine things to do in life, far too many of them! well its different for many ppl, but i feel most alive when i dream and i make it come true! while i believe that we still have to allow God to have the highest authority over our lives, we still have to take control and discipline ourselves. know where we are heading next and what to do next!

in the past i was far too scared to dream, never had enough of a confidence to believe i could do anything big hahaha! but honestly my life in God has really taught me so much more otherwise! now i know im not the best at everything i do, but i do know if i reach for the sky with all my might. i might just end up dropping on the stars? LOL. its just gibberish. but im most satisfied when i know i throw in everything i have and look at what i have done.. thinking.. well done with my life for that past few moments! at least i’ve been faithful with what i have.

its not easy to juggle btwn army and ministry esp since thr isnt much time, and of course draining cos of the physical trainings. im not perfect but Lord help me to master my self and make it my slave so i can push onward forcefully as previous great men have done. lets goooo!

when you meet an overwhelming wall.

I’m about to go through what I deem as one of my toughest moments in my life, having only 4-5hours of sleep on most days in the past 2 weeks. Which on most of them having a whole day training. I’m already about to die from fatigue, can literally fall aslp anywhere. Now I’m gonna go through 6d5n field camp which I’m holding 3 different appointments in 3 different missions, which is a lot because most have either just 1 or none.

Everyone in my company is just tired out from all the rushing and lack of sleep, the 6d5n field camp has always been known to be very tough and sleep depriving. God how?!

was reading james 1:2-18, can’t help but think.. This really is a good opportunity to grow. Tho I would prefer not to go through tough times haha. God please sustain me through the field camp!

obstacle course.

The obstacle I’m talking about? Heart obstacle. Booked out just this morning ard 8am, and here I am back in camp. One of the few moments that the heart is heavy and full of sighs, shouting “I want to be free!”.. Because it feels weighed down by everything else suddenly.

However really wanna thank God for my mum! She remembered me craving for crabs last week and asked me if I want to have them for dinner today! Can’t express how much I appreciated that effort of remembering, really thankful for it 🙂 So to all those in the future and future me who might be facing a similar heart situation and reading this. Take heart! Be grateful! For tho the world might be hard to live in sometimes, there are always moments that God has placed in our lives that will place a smile on our hearts:)

Thank You God!:)

i admit.

The first step to many more, admitting.

I’m really quite easily distracted by things and one thing that came as a realization of what God has been teaching me throughout the whole of the wk and esp today. Discipline of the mind.

We had an 8km run in the morning and had a timing of 48mins to meet. I’m not very good with runs honestly, but I do know there are techniques to help. One of the more impt things for me? Focus.

Focusing on the wrong thing will definitely lead to us lagging behind, and well.. Focus on what will motivate you! Or focus on another distraction from your original distraction lol. I definitely can’t focus on how many more laps I have, I’d be demoralized to even run. So I found the thing to focus on for ppl like me who is easily distracted, focus on what’s in front of me. Its more like a reminder to me, to focus on what I have to do first. Sure I have to plan ahead and know roughly what’s coming up, however what’s most impt is what’s right in my face. To focus on pace and breathing. Even tho I had to discipline my mind real hard to do it, cos it wanders off negatively at times.

Ran a good run and am happy with it! 41mins woohoo! not fantastic but satisfied since I improved heh:)

too costly.

Was listening to one of my friends talked randomly and I said smth which really spoke to me haha.

Learn a lesson well, its not worth it to pay for the same one twice.

Tho I know this logic, somehow I’m just dumb enough at times to fall for the same mistake twice. Divinely, my qt was about the same thing too. Repented sins are to be like how God struck the firstborns of israel cos of their sins, to be buried. They are there to be remembered so that we acknowledge our mistakes, but not to be seen nor searched for lest we fall into it again.

It is always too costly and not worth it to make the same mistakes over and again. Stay clear of temptations, this is the one time to put your fleeing and dodging skills to good use!