just.. a few cents of my thoughts.

just read about how someone who laughed about Singaporean guys being weak as someone died from the training. im just thankful i have had supportive friends who made me feel like NS was worth serving for because of them. seriously cant believe how someone could have ridiculed our trainings in NS, all that time burnt as weak. sure times have changed and people no longer get crazy trainings like the olden days army do.

just saying that if you’re a lady and you know of friends who serve NS, you are what makes the big difference. we go out in the night and do all sorts of trainings, just so that those who do not have to serve can enjoy the peace. believe it or not, in a bigger picture. what we are doing in the army contributes to what Singapore has right now.

 

if others had friends who were encouraging of their NS life, i’m telling you there would be a world of a difference in their perspective of serving the army. i survived all the tough times because every single time, i think of what i was doing it for and thought it was worth it.

 

blah. goes to show how much appreciation and encouragement in anything goes a longer way than anyone can ever imagine. 🙂

 

Seeing beyond

Am meeting up with Dennis loh today! One of the godly men that God placed in my life while I was still really young in Christ. Really am grateful to him for teaching and guiding next through my walk with God! A man I truly respect alot.

There were many painful times when he spoke truth into my life cos there were corrections, but I knew that it was for the best of me. I guess that’s why I was able to take all those in and grow! He definitely saw beyond my flaws and cui-ness, persevered in me tho I think if I were him I would have given up on me lol!

Lord.. I pray You will help me to see beyond. Beyond the flaws, into their potential.. help me to love even more and grow even more! 🙂

Too many things to do

Ever had this thought of wanting to do so many things but not having the time to accomplish them? The frustration of realizing that?

was just reading through the notes of last sat’s sermon on the touch of God. There was one thing that hit me, we are way too distracted in a world that tries to grab every ounce of our attention and energy!

And many times being caught in such a situation, we are rendered powerless and fall into chasing all our temptations and temporal desires of our hearts.

We just have to realize what the world is distract us from, what is so crucial that the devil puts in so much effort to cover up?

it is the fact that being focused on God will bring us to a place where the promised land awaits us! While the devil offers us temporal measures that looks like the promised land, unless we focus on God and ask Him to help us be overcomers of our carnal nature. We cannot survive the battle. We will end up in the whirlpool of the world, dragged down tgt with it.

The frustration of facing all the temptations is great, but realizing it enables me to gain strength from God to overcome! Thank You Jesus!

Wake up calls

A whole lot of events unveiled today, and it somehow got me more and more toward the end of today. I had a ton of thoughts which were defeating and baffling, and the more I thought the worse it got. As usual haha.

And I was so dreading booking in, wanting to just stay at home. Its like my refuge place where I can afford to go crazy and throw some tantrums sometimes. Where I know its okay to be frustrated.

But.. The relentless alarm clock and my dad’s nagging got me out of the house unwillingly as my dad makes a whole lot of speech making negative assumptions of me. Not exactly the thing I needed at the moment. And as I went to the bus stop, bus 34 was 10 mins away and I would miss bus 168 the last I checked. So I ran to a bus stop that had 168 and that was relatively near my house.

As I slowed down to get my wallet in my bag, I searched and.. it wasn’t there! Even though I vividly remembered bringing it out with me for sure. Then I ran back to the first bus stop to search for my wallet. Firstly it was a birthday gift that I treasure, secondly it has important items like IC and camp pass! Losing my wallet would kill me totally, was already grumbling to God by then.

Reached bus stop, no wallet at all. Went back home sweaty, deciding to trust in God in all circumstance for His best. Saw 2 really really God sent ladies, they found my wallet at the first bus stop and immediately returned it to my house when they checked my IC!

Am so super thankful to them and more so, God! Even though there many running that was done, but I’m just so glad that God was with me through it all. Things were starting to get a little hard for me, I was doubtful of taking a step forward.

God really is faithful and gracious, in just one instance woke me up from illusions the devil lured me into. Truly believe that stepping out and biting the bullet with God’s grace is the way to go! Ready to stir up a storm with God!

Army leadership lessons

Honestly speaking, I have really learnt and gleaned a lot of experience in different aspects of life thanks to army. And one of them are leadership lessons that I constantly am either reminded of / learning / convicted of.

Today our officer commanding spoke to all the sergeants and evaluated our mission that we did with us, there were a lot to learn from each other. But there was one thing that really struck me, leadership is one thing that is really dear to my heart. I would die to see good leadership figuratively.

Good leadership is not like instructing. You are leading when you go down to your people’s level and show them what is to be done and help them to achieve it. And frustration is what you get when you are not led well! I saw it in my men when one of the commanders could not lead well, did not manage to communicate nor assure them of his presence.

There was so much to learn, to physically see what good leadership could be like. Unlike spiritual leadership which effects are not as visible or immediate. It really was a privilege to see it upfront and be reminded of what poor leadership could do to the people.

And through leading in the army, whatever I tell the 6 men under me to do. They will comply and not fail to do it, executing every order I give.

 

The Faith of the Centurion

⁵ When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. ⁶“Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed, suffering terribly.”

⁷ Jesus said to him, “Shall I come and heal him?”

⁸ The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. ⁹ For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.

This whole passage really is brought out to life when I’m in the army, I can identify and relate with what the centurion is saying. That is exactly what is happening for me, there is no “no” in the battlefield when orders are given. Those under authority would simply do as they are told because that is the way it is, and it is what keeps everything together. It gives birth to order and not chaos.

However as it is to talk about good leadership, being human it really is hard to do. It requires you to put in all your effort and to be sincere with those you lead. People know and can sense sincerity, that alone plays a big part of being a good leader. And to be a great one, I believe it takes more than man to be one.

 

God I pray You expand my heart’s capacity so that I can lead more productively, that You can use me to multiply potentials! Expand my potential as well. In Jesus’ name. Amen!

Rant.

Can’t believe it, I’m being considered for a friday duty again! Its the worst day to get a duty, not because of the duty itself but because of how we “lose out” on time! Its usually a half day for us on friday as a reward for doing well in our drills in simulated battles.

I got arrow-ed to do 2 fridays last month on a last min notice, that sucked badly since I was looking forward to the early bookout. What I need now is a good shoutout at the ocean.

Then again, I can’t bring myself to whine any longer because of how I know God has a plan in mind. There’s definitely gotta be something in His mind, His word said so! That He only has plans to prosper me and not to bring me downfall.

So Lord.. Keep me sane and help me to understand with wisdom Your plans. In Jesus’ name, amen!

Hugo

Booked in at 8am, listen to briefings and did admin stuff. Booked out at 3pm for nights out! Awesome or awesome? Totally didn’t feel like we had booked in at all!

Had a long day of eating, walking and caught a new movie! Hugo! Despite how the name sounds, it was quite a good movie 🙂 I’m bad with giving movie descriptions so just check it out on ur own online ha.

However there was this sentence he said that I believe would strike a chord in people’s heart. It goes something like this, “I picture this world as a huge machine where everything is part of it and nothing is a spare part. So there must be a purpose for me, and there must be a purpose for you even though you don’t have it now”. Not the exact words but you get what I mean 😉

It is true of how God has created this world with everyone in mind and no one has no function or purpose. But unless we find out what God has in store for us, we are just rendered useless and not contributing at all.

Reminds me of what God spoke to me in the past.. I can do everything but unless I am doing what is needed of me, I am not moving forward or progressing at all. At the end of the day, we are not judged by what we have done. But by what we have not done which we have been called to do! There’s still much for me to grow in and understand, I’ll wait on God and hear Him out as He hears me 🙂

gotta do it!

I saw a Harley Davidson bike ytd near chomp chomp, sweetness to the max. Simply enchanting! I’m currently in the process of learning how to ride a motorbike and even though I haven’t even pass my BTT yet but I sure am excited to start riding!

 

Dangerous as it may be, I love the feeling of having convenience and also slight thrills ^^ Have been snooping around used bike websites and all, it is really cheap! Costs like around $1000 – $3000, that’s my price range actually.

 

But one day, maybe 1 to 2 years down the road. I want to get my bike on a road trip around Europe, Australlia, or somewhere I can enjoy the scenery and adventure! IT WOULD BE A DREAM, if I could do that on a Harley Davidson. Tsktsk ok I’m getting ahead of myself, but it doesn’t hurt to dream a little.

 

Maybe it’s because we don’t get to experience much adventures or wildlife in Singapore, I do feel deprived of it and would definitely jump at the opportunity if one passes by. The idea of doing farmwork in Australia is tempting as well! Gotta do this while I still have the energy and availability to do so haha!

learn til you drop

WOW is the word. I have always been amazed at how when we continue to serve God and go for meetings etc despite feeling tired or reluctant, how He never fails to bless me beyond my wildest imagination.

 

The NS leaders have been meeting up close to almost every week for a month now on every Sunday at 10am! It is honestly tiring and sometimes I feel reluctant to go down because what they are learning is really hard to digest! Most of the times I struggle to keep myself awake than focusing on what the video is teaching us.

 

Today was one of those days, I was sincerely tired and thus dreaded going down BUT I sure didn’t regret going down! Today’s video was about learning who God was through science! There is a TON of things that was being said inside, most of which was biology stuff. And the explanation of why evolution doesn’t exist by proving what certain theories wrong such as Darwin’s theory.

 

And then how the molecular structure of  bacteria and cells within human system works within etc, was simply mind blowing! It truly convinced me that we can never be from apes, that we humans are humans for sure. Unique by our own species! Same for all other species created! Really am so pumped to learn more about God! So I went to get all of the previous videos which I didn’t catch fully so that I can watch and rewatch in camp until I can catch it. God has revealed Himself and the truth to us so plainly through His word, but still many choose to ignore it and live their lives as if He doesn’t exist.

 

Learning really is a lifelong process and pursuit. The more we know, we would realise that there is even more for us to know! Just a simple thing that happened to me a moment ago, I have always tied my shoelace and it keeps coming off sometimes. Have always wondered why it keeps coming off even though it looks fine and I tie it as hard as I can always. Then I had a revelation today when I decided to search for the truth as to why doesn’t my shoelaces keep tight. I HAVE TIED THE LOOPS WRONGLY! Goodness. To such a simple mistake, took me 20years to realise. I am just thankful I don’t have to wait for another 10 years or whatsoever to learn this truth.

 

Now I’m really more determined to find out things when I see them go wrong, procrastinate no more haha!

only what you do know

Only what you do know, can you truly believe.

 

Was listening to “Relentless” also by New Hope Oahu. talks about how God’s grace enables us to do beyond what we can imagine ourselves doing.

 

Many of us already know this fact. But to what extent do you know it? It is to that extent that you experience it!

 

It is by God’s grace that we are distinguished from the rest of the people, that is what makes us different. In fact, it is God’s grace that makes all the difference! Without grace, repentance is just another sorry. Without grace, spiritual gifts are just talents. Without grace, salvation is but living a longer life. But it is with God’s grace that all these changes!

 

We do not actually get all this stuff in our mind, but pastors or worship leaders are who they are because of God’s grace that enabled them to do all that. And that very same grace is given to us, but yet the understanding of the extent of that grace is what differentiates us. We limit ourselves when God doesn’t limit us.

 

However saying that, discovering and understanding God’s grace is a process or rather an adventure for us as Christ followers to pursue!

 

There is much more to glean from the podcast so I would recommend you to make an effort to listen to the podcast! You could ask me for the links if you do not know how to find them 🙂